Starting the Conversation about Divorce
What is the best way to start a divorce conversation with your spouse without devastating them or causing an all-out war?
Starting a conversation about divorce with your spouse is challenging in any culture or setting. It's important to approach the topic with sensitivity, understanding, and respect, especially when considering the cultural nuances of Singapore.
Here are some steps and suggestions on how to initiate the conversation:
Be brutally honest with yourself
: Before broaching the subject, seeking individual or couples counselling may be beneficial to ensure that this is the right decision for you and to understand your feelings better.
Choose the Right Setting
: Find a quiet, private place to speak without interruptions. Avoid bringing up the topic during heated arguments or high-stress situations.
Be Direct but Compassionate
: Start with your feelings, using "I" statements. For instance, "I have been feeling..." or "I believe..." to express your emotions without placing blame.
Be Prepared for Reactions
: Your spouse might react with shock, anger, sadness, or relief. Be prepared for various emotions and try to remain calm and compassionate.
Express Your Intentions Clearly
: Be clear about your intentions and reasons. This doesn't mean you need to provide a long list of grievances, but rather, give a clear picture of why you believe this step is necessary.
Seek Legal Advice
: If you are sure about pursuing a divorce, seek legal advice. Singapore has various requirements to fulfil before a divorce can be granted, such as meeting the minimum marriage duration. A divorce lawyer can guide you through the Singapore legal process.
Consider the Children
: If you have children, think about their well-being. Discuss how you both can support them through the process, keeping their best interests at the forefront.
It's vital to remember that while it's a personal decision, a divorce affects many people, including children, extended families, and friends. Approach the topic with empathy, clarity, and a willingness to understand the other party's feelings and concerns.
We prioritise crafting a process that minimises conflict and encourages a future of cooperative co-parenting and respectful interactions amongst all parties involved.