Relationships, including marriages, are never easy, given their complex nature. From financial woes, infidelity to disrespect, many factors can disturb the foundation that a marriage is built on, leading to a divorce if unaddressed.

Here are the six factors that predict divorce.

Contempt

Of all the predictive factors, contempt is the most prominent one. Based on extensive research, Dr Gottman names the ‘Four Horsemen‘ or four communication habits that are the best predictors of divorce.

One of these four behaviours is contempt in marriage, which according to Dr Gottman, is the “most corrosive behaviour” that can destroy a relationship. It is also seen as the number one predictor of divorce. Contempt involves name-calling, sarcasm, disdain, disrespect, hostility, eye-rolling, or insensitive joking, among others.

It attacks the person’s self-esteem or sense of self and is aimed at intentionally abusing or manipulating the partner. One or both partners feel resentful of the other and lose trust or respect for their partner.

Mutual respect, trust, and empathy are the foundational elements of successful relationships, including marriage. Ridicule, insensitivity, and lack of empathy can set up a cycle of destructive behaviour that typically end in divorce.

Contempt basically stems from disrespect and disregard for the partner and can involve:

• A lack of regard for the spouse’s freedom and space
• Lack of respect for the other’s time
• Insensitivity towards the other’s need for safety
• Disregard for the spouse’s need for privacy
• Ignoring the partner’s need for intimacy, communication, or connection
• Not being appreciative of the other

Criticism

Criticism is among the four predictors of divorce, as described by Dr Gottman. While a complaint focuses on the specific problem, criticism involves equating what the partner did (a behaviour) with their personal character or personality.

Complaint: “It is frustrating to see the sink is full of dishes.” Criticism: “you always leave the washing to me because you never care about me.”

While some criticism is unavoidable, it is a problem when it implies there is something drastically wrong with your spouse or attacks their character.

Stonewalling

Stonewalling is also one of the four horsemen of relationship apocalypse that Dr Gottman describes. If your partner becomes a stone wall when you try to have a conversation (remains silent or looks away), you know that they are stonewalling.

The one on the receiving end of stonewalling can feel their spouse does not care or love them anymore. The person who is stonewalling may be experiencing ‘physiological flooding’ that happens when the body identifies the conflict as a threat.

The natural survival instincts kick in, which can involve fleeing, fighting, or freezing as a defensive tactic.

Lack of intimacy

A decline in intimacy is often cited as a contributing factor in many divorces. While it is normal for intimacy to fluctuate due to the demands of work, parenting, or other life stressors, long-term neglect of physical and emotional connection can create distance between partners.

Temporary changes in intimacy are not necessarily a cause for concern. However, when intimacy is absent for extended periods, spanning months or even years, it may signal deeper issues in the relationship. Over time, this disconnect can erode the bond between spouses and increase the likelihood of separation.

Infidelity

Infidelity remains one of the key reasons couples cite when filing for divorce in Singapore. According to the Ministry of Social and Family Development’s 2016 Divorce Support Study, extramarital affairs ranked among the top causes of marital breakdown, alongside issues like communication problems and financial difficulties.

Adultery can stem from various underlying issues within the marriage.

These may include unmet emotional or physical needs, a desire for intimacy not reciprocated by the spouse, differing sexual expectations, or unresolved resentment and anger. In some cases, it may reflect a breakdown in trust or a search for validation outside the marriage.

While every case is unique, infidelity often signals deeper, unresolved issues in the relationship that couples may struggle to address without professional intervention or support.

Being too needy

Emotional dependence or excessive clinginess can place a heavy strain on a marriage. When one partner constantly seeks reassurance, attention, or validation, it can feel overwhelming for the other. What begins as a desire for closeness may gradually become a source of emotional fatigue.

A spouse who feels pressured to constantly meet the other’s emotional needs may start to feel drained or even resentful. Without the space to pursue personal interests or maintain a sense of autonomy, they may begin to feel suffocated in the relationship.

Over time, this imbalance can erode mutual respect and emotional connection, leading some to emotionally withdraw or, in more severe cases, consider ending the marriage altogether.